There once was a boy who loved to play outside
everyday. His name was Franklin, Frank for short. One day he shouted out “I
WANT TO PLAY OUTSIDE!” His grandma said “You can’t play outside today and you
have to stay inside because I have to go to the store” Then he screamed “I will
play until you come back!” So when he was playing outside he had to go to the
washroom but the door was locked. So he found a stick and put it threw the
lock, then the lock clicked and BOOM! He was inside and went to the washroom
and played.
You have a good story, your just missing punctuation. When he's shouting "I WANT TO PLAY OUTSIDE" you need to put and exclamation point at the end cause he's shouting. So it should be "I WANT TO PLAY OUTSIDE!", it's the same when he screams "I will play until you come back", it needs to have a exclamation point.
ReplyDeleteAlso just a little side note capitalize the beginning of what the grandma said, "You can't play outside today and you have to stay inside because I have to go to the store.
Nice story. But you just need to have one exclamation mark after BOOM instead of two
ReplyDeleteIf you don't put ab exclamation mark after OUTSIDE his should be a lowercase
ReplyDeleteafter you wrote "one day he shouted out" you need to put a comma and after "his grandma said" and also after "he screamed and your missing the periods or exclamation marks after "i want to play outside" and after "because I have to go to the store" and after "until u come back" other that it was an amazing story
ReplyDeleteNice story but when the says you can't play outside today you have to stay inside do ,because i have to go to the store.
ReplyDelete